Playing on the same team

Something interesting happened this weekend.

I was walking through a parking lot with one of my friends and she pointed out a woman in front of us who looked to be about our age. She commented on how pretty the woman was and before I could stop the word vomit, I replied, “Yeah, but she’s way too skinny.”

The second the words came out I was mortified. Too skinny? Are you kidding me? Am I not right this second working on a blog about feeling too chubby? Shame on me.

My friend nodded in agreement and that was the end of the conversation between us, but the beginning of the conversation in my head. Weekly I preach about finding ways to feel confident in my own skin and being healthy, and yet I so easily turned around and put down a fellow woman.

One important question came to my mind: when did we as women stop being on the same team and start viewing each other as the enemy?

I started picturing this woman as one of my friends, who if I had heard some stranger degrading I would be furious. My friend M with her amazing body that she works so hard for, but will never realize just how beautiful she is. J with her womanly curves that I think makes her beautiful and sexy, but she is insecure about. And every single one of the women I love for their individuality. I wouldn’t hesitate to defend these women against anyone. Yet I let my own jealousy and insecurity turn to negativity to put this person down?

I wanted to walk up to this stranger and apologize for my behavior. I stopped myself only because she hadn’t heard me and would be thoroughly confused by my attempted explanation. So I’m apologizing to the internet instead.

To the anonymous skinny girl that I unfairly judged, I apologize and I commend you on your look and your confidence. I hope you know that you truly are gorgeous and you didn’t deserve the negative comments that stemmed from my own jealousy. You go girl. And p.s., cute shoes.

I don’t know at what age it started for me, but I now realize that I pick apart in my head every woman I come in contact with, whether it is their body type, their outfit, or their hair. I’m to blame for my own insecurities because I judge everyone else; I assume they’re judging me as well.

This poisonous competition ends today for me. It ends this second. I have to stop letting these negative thoughts rent room in my head and start being positive for other women. I have to stop comparing myself and putting them down so I can feel better about my body or my look. We gals are the only ones who really understand each other anyways.

I know men face weight and health issues just like we do, yet they will never fully comprehend the pressure that we have put on ourselves. The desire, no, the need to look perfect, to dress perfect, to look like supermodels while working full time and raising a family, and smiling about it. It would be a lot less lonely of a journey if we learn to lean on each other for strength instead of tearing each other apart out of spite.