Playing on the same team

Something interesting happened this weekend.

I was walking through a parking lot with one of my friends and she pointed out a woman in front of us who looked to be about our age. She commented on how pretty the woman was and before I could stop the word vomit, I replied, “Yeah, but she’s way too skinny.”

The second the words came out I was mortified. Too skinny? Are you kidding me? Am I not right this second working on a blog about feeling too chubby? Shame on me.

My friend nodded in agreement and that was the end of the conversation between us, but the beginning of the conversation in my head. Weekly I preach about finding ways to feel confident in my own skin and being healthy, and yet I so easily turned around and put down a fellow woman.

One important question came to my mind: when did we as women stop being on the same team and start viewing each other as the enemy?

I started picturing this woman as one of my friends, who if I had heard some stranger degrading I would be furious. My friend M with her amazing body that she works so hard for, but will never realize just how beautiful she is. J with her womanly curves that I think makes her beautiful and sexy, but she is insecure about. And every single one of the women I love for their individuality. I wouldn’t hesitate to defend these women against anyone. Yet I let my own jealousy and insecurity turn to negativity to put this person down?

I wanted to walk up to this stranger and apologize for my behavior. I stopped myself only because she hadn’t heard me and would be thoroughly confused by my attempted explanation. So I’m apologizing to the internet instead.

To the anonymous skinny girl that I unfairly judged, I apologize and I commend you on your look and your confidence. I hope you know that you truly are gorgeous and you didn’t deserve the negative comments that stemmed from my own jealousy. You go girl. And p.s., cute shoes.

I don’t know at what age it started for me, but I now realize that I pick apart in my head every woman I come in contact with, whether it is their body type, their outfit, or their hair. I’m to blame for my own insecurities because I judge everyone else; I assume they’re judging me as well.

This poisonous competition ends today for me. It ends this second. I have to stop letting these negative thoughts rent room in my head and start being positive for other women. I have to stop comparing myself and putting them down so I can feel better about my body or my look. We gals are the only ones who really understand each other anyways.

I know men face weight and health issues just like we do, yet they will never fully comprehend the pressure that we have put on ourselves. The desire, no, the need to look perfect, to dress perfect, to look like supermodels while working full time and raising a family, and smiling about it. It would be a lot less lonely of a journey if we learn to lean on each other for strength instead of tearing each other apart out of spite.

Workin' it

One of my only complaints about my job so far is that it requires I sit down for 8 hours a day. I get sleepy, I get hungry, and I get bored. All of which drive me to snack.

I’ve started bringing healthy snacks like cheese, yogurt, fruit, and rice cakes, so this is helpful, but no matter how it’s sugarcoated I’m being mostly sedentary for 40 hours a week. While making coffee the other day an idea came to me, and good ideas pre-coffee are rare for me.

I’ve seen tips on blogs about making yourself stand up once an hour and walking to the water fountain or the bathroom, so you’re not sitting down all day. This was a start but my job is pretty flexible so I thought I could do better than that. I created a little work out system where at the top of every hour I stand up and do a small activity. Then in the middle of every hour I’ll do something else that will work a different muscle. This is what I came up with for me:

Monday
On the hour- 50 jumping jacks
On the half hour- 10 push ups

Tuesday
On the hour- 50 high knees in place
On the half hour- 25 crunches

Wednesday
On the hour- 50 jumping jacks
On the half hour- 25 air squats

Thursday
On the hour- 50 butt kicks in place
On the half hour- 20 lunges rotating

Friday
On the hour- 50 jumping jacks
On the half hour- 20 calf raises

Each workout takes less than a minute. Even though I’m in an office by myself I keep the door open, so to not be seen I go behind the tall part of my desk and complete the workouts. If you have a similar situation, or you don’t care that your co-workers stare at you and whisper about you being a freak, go ahead and steal my workout.

If you’re not in an office where this is possible then take a look at your day and see where it does have room for easy workouts such as these. For example, I suggested to a teacher friend who’s always on her feet that she try to work a certain amount of calf raises into her day. Depending on the grade and leniency of the school you could also turn it into a fun classroom activity to stand up once a day and do 100 jumping jacks or something. Those who work in cubicles could always look into exercise methods like DeskCycles. These mini bike peddles can be hidden under a desk but actually work great, and I found some on amazon for less than $40.

This new plan makes my day pass faster, and the bottom line is that I feel better about myself when I can work a little cardio into my 8 hour work day.

Patience is a virtue...that I don't have

It’s been almost a week of my “new me” regime, and I am facing my first hurdle. I want results. Now. I am borderline obsessed with seeing a difference in my body. I’ll do a sit up, check for abs. Do a sit up, check for abs. Nothing.

My Mom always said patience is a virtue that I lack.

I read in a medical journal (okay fine, I read it on Pinterest) that it takes four weeks for you to see your body changing, eight weeks for your friends and family, and twelve weeks for the rest of the world. I can hear my mom’s voice in my head saying “See? I told you to be patient.”

But being patient when you’re trying to get your body into shape is difficult. Who wants to get sweaty and push themselves for no results? Why run today when I won’t notice it tomorrow? I was asking myself this specific question while I was putting on my running shoes yesterday and I had my epiphany. If I don’t run today, I’m not going to run tomorrow, or the next day. And in 6 months I’m going to go through another “poor fat me” phase and start this whole process over. Or I could go run today and in six months maybe my body will be where I want it to be.

Like this

Well maybe not like that.

So I’m making a decision that’s out of character for me: I’m going to listen to my Mom’s voice in my head. Instead of looking in the mirror after a workout, or a billion times a day, I’m trying to focus on how my body feels. Although I get winded pretty quickly during a working, I do have more energy during the day and I’ve been sleeping better at night. Plus after I run or walk I don’t want to let my body down by eating a greasy cheeseburger, so I’m being inspired to eat healthier as well.

I’ve heard of people taping inspiring quotes to their mirrors, ceilings, refrigerators, etc., and I love that idea. For me simple pictures of me from a year ago are inspiration enough, but I suggest you do whatever it takes to stay focused.